For me it's confusing...

Sunday here at Cosmic Scribble's is our open day... and today i snuck in to blog about what Second life truly is for me, and how it has affected me.
Its not a story to get sympathy, or a story for any other motive. It's just something i wrote down when i was thinking about the people i have met on second life.



Second life is different to alot of people. It means different things, create's different worlds, can act as an escape, or become part of RL. For me second life is confusing.

One thing second life does for me is to allow my inner child out. I am immature, and i will openly admit to still being a kid at heart. I Joined Second Life in November 2007 when i was 19 years old. I considered myself a child, i still lived at home with my parents where i work for them in their family business. I was a scared kid, forced into doing a job i didn't want to do.

I started Second life as an adult avatar. I did use second life as an escape from my hectic, stressful job and family; but it was never about seperating myself. I am true to myself in both lives. I bring my emotions from both lives into one another. When something upsets me or annoys me i will log off and be just as annoyed or upset.

I made friends and grew exceptionally close to a small group of friends. We were constantly together and i considered them all to be like family... and then i fell in love. Being around someone and so close to them opened me up in a way i never had been. We were inseperable, and in contact constantly all day, everyday. Getting married on SL was something i told myself i would never do, afterall i was young, and wasn't even contemplating anything of the sort in real life for years! But it happened and i was blissfully happy.

My Confidence grew while i was on sl. I was myself and content, and those feelings protruded through to my real life. I moved out into an apartment of my own, and i was finally thankful for my parents and the job and lifestyle they'd created for me.

I was happy with the life i had until the group started to grow apart from each other in the summer of 2009. Real life took over for many of them, and the tension caused problems for me and my partner.

I left sl in June 2009 before my 21st birthday.

I lost contact with every single one of my friends.

Over that summer i grew to miss the friendships i had made in second life. I was never really that close to anyone in RL and i missed having someone i could rely on day to day and whilst i lived on my own, i hated it. I didn't have many friends close by who could come over easily, and i missed the companionship i had on second life.

Because of that, Francii Loxely was born on the 21St of September 2009. What drew me to being a child avatar? I'm not quite sure. I guess after the serious tension and relationship problems i saw in the adult world, i needed to escape that. Well i'm not sure i can say i've escaped drama, if anything i've experienced more. Ha Ha! [Thats big me and little me up there]

I guess being part of the kid community allows me to have a family too. My family in real life is a little dysfunctional to say the least and i am under alot of pressure to be the kind of person they want me to be as i am now the only child in the family. So it's nice to have a family on second life, who love me for me and just enjoy my company.

I can safely say though, that i have achieved what i wanted to by coming back. I have THE most amazing friends and family i could ever have. I'm still getting to know people, afterall my avatar is not even 200 days old yet. But the friendships i have, have honestly made me happier and feel good about myself again. The Kid community is one of the most loyal, kind, caring and generous groups of people on second life. Yes kid avatars may not be loved by all; but to those who are part of the kid community it is too easy to see just how amazing it is. We get alot of stick from people and sometimes people judge before they can truly see what it's like. I can honestly say i did that. I never liked Child avatars, but experiencing it made me realise just how much fun it can be.

I am thankful and very lucky that i have been welcomed by the most amazing group of people. I look forward to logging on and being with people who i truly care about in my life. Without them second life would be nothing. They brighten my day when im stressed about work, and keep me grounded when im being a bit stupid, which is fairly often! I can say that without second life i wouldnt be as happy. Its my creative outlet, my chance to be a little crazy, and my chance to be surrounded by people i am growing to love.

Second life for me is my escape into a world where i can be fully myself and i wouldnt change it for the world.

Francii xox