Monday, June 7, 2010

Why i chose to be abby

This is not the blog post I planned to write for today, but sometimes something happens that we feel necessary to let our voices be heard. And that is how I feel today.

Yesterday I found out about a  poster thingy that a reader of SCD had posted, and it really bothered me, I am not going to repost it here cause really  I don't want to give this person anymore attention, But basically said child avis entice people in rl to abuse children..

There were a lot of responses to it, some very supportive of our choice to be child avi's, and others very ignorant and insulting.  So today, I decided I wanted to explain to some why I choose to be a child avatar.

I have never asked a Furry why they chose to be a furry, or a tiny why they chose to be a tiny. Or the RL 200 lb very sweet lady, why she chose to be a bitchy fashion model in second life. 

The fact is, we all choose what our avi looks like and how we act for all sorts of different reasons. And no one should judge anyone for their choice.

All that being said, I have decided to share why I am a child avatar in Second Life. Not for any other reason but to maybe at least change the mind of if not one maybe a few people that think we are creepy or perverse.

I am a child of a borderline pyschopath (not sure of the totally correct term), that fact I have not shared with hardly anyone. Its not something to brag about. Actually its something I am very ashamed of.   Growing up with a mother with that kind of mental illness made for a very abusive childhood and added to that, she hated being alone, so there were tons of men in my childhood, and yes some who would rather be with little girls, than a grown woman.  So for survival i learned to cope. My coping skills were such as I was able to create in my head a place of safety, where I could escape to during the abuse and allow someone that wasn't *me* to take it.  I called this little girl abby. She became my imaginary friend of sorts I guess. And also my protector, the part of me that was so strong I was able to survive.   So when I found Second Life it was like finally, a place where this little girl, that although wasn't physically me, but was such a strong part of my inner  self, to actually be able to have a childhood without fear of pain. To actually be able to play, to have parents that loved her, and to be able to play and to experience all that I was not allowed to do as a child in my real life.   As a child avi in second life, although the perverse is all around me, the sexual sims, the adult area's. I can stay inside the safe places and be that child.  I have a family who are wonderful, the most awesome friends and the place to just be a kid and have fun. I can choose to report any pervert that comes in contact with me and teleport away if needed. I can choose the games I play. I can choose the people I allow inside my world. 

The kid and family community in Second Life have some of the most amazing people in it. Although we don't always see eye to eye and we also have our own drama. The support that they have of each other is amazing. I love the family community inside of Second Life. Its for them I decided to share this. 

In real life I have children who I love and they will always come first. I am married and my husband knows all about my second life, I do not hide a thing. Being a child inside Second Life has not caused any problems with my children or my husband. They are my life, they will always come first. But at least here inside Second Life, I can also finally give the inner child  a chance too. I think its well deserved.

I thought a few times about posting this. I don't share this part of me. Even some of my closest friends do not know all I have shared.  But I think its important to let people know from one of the child avatars they might find freaky. The reasons I chose this way to live my Second Life.

Abby <3
I in no way am saying the blog SCD supports this attitude, or that the staff of the blog approved or encourged any part of this readers opinion.


  1. I am incredibly proud of this post, Abby. Very, very proud indeed.

    You make a very important point about the avatars we choose to represent ourselves in this virtual world. Here's a chance where we can be what we need to be, not what we're born as. When I hear male voices coming from female avatars, when people are short or super skinny or chubby or furry or whatever... there is a place for everyone to call home.

    As long as no laws are broken, no one's opinion matters.

    Sharing this was an incredibly brave thing of you to do. I think you are closer to Abby than you think.

    Love you very very much x

  2. You know we've talked about this; but i'm so proud of you for writing this. I hope it enlightens some people on why some of us chose to be child avs.

    You're an inspiration abbyloo <3

  3. Love you so much, munchkin. <3 This was amazing.


  5. That which does not destroy us only makes us stronger. Thank you for sharing, Abby. It's an inspiring post.

  6. I really hope the people who really need to read this post, do. Your strength and bravery by talking about this is inspiring. Thank you for letting us in and getting a glimpse on why you chose to live as you do in SL. *big giant hugs for you*

  7. Hi Abby,
    I guess you are talking about this weeks SL Secrets by the SCD
    don´t get too upset about what other people think or might think. There are alot of people pro child avatars as there are contra. Just do your thing. There will always be people out there that think its weird being a child avatar or a neko, tiny, furry, elf etc. compaired to plain human avatar black, white or yellos ;-) we get you and thats most importand and if anyone is talking bad just file in a report and mute the person.
    Looks are deceiving LOL behind that cute lill child avatar is a grown up that can and will report you ;-)

  8. Thanks for linking my blog btw :) Got you linked back - but something is wrong - i see the blog name but not latest post for it :(

  9. Nice post Abby! I loved it! And I'm so glad you shared. *Big hugs* I hope to see more of these, not necessarily tragic posts about bad childhoods, but there are soo many reasons people play kids av's and I think it's a great idea to let people have a better understanding.

  10. You're so strong abby *hugs you SO tight* You've told me small pieces about your past but I am SO inspired that you are able to come out and share such a deep part of you. You're an amazing person abby, know this please <3 I looove yoou <3 and I'm so proud of you and I am SO lucky to able to call you one of my closest friends. Your strength is SO inpiring abbyloo.

    xxoo <3

  11. Wonderful blog Abby. I know how much being Abby means to you and I'm proud of you for being so honest and telling your story. It takes an extreme amount of courage to do that and you should be proud of the woman you are in RL and the little girl Abby you are in SL.

  12. Nearly made me cry reading this. You really are brave, deprived of having a childhood in RL so living your childhood in SL :) I think your awesome (even though I don't know you).

  13. You are so brave and strong. Thank you so much for sharing. <3

  14. Thank you for sharing yr story with us. I am so glad that you have found such a positive experience in SL.
    Undoubtedly there are people who make child AV's for less then innocent reasons, but I think that it is important for people to realise that to assume all people with child AV's have the same motives is not only wrong, but discriminatory.
    I hope you continue to find the love and acceptance you deserve in SL. :-)

  15. I'm SO proud of you for sharing this abby! I know how much it must have taken for you to write and press post and thank you so much for being so strong and sharing this with us all!

    You are AMAZING and I love you so much <3

  16. Abby,

    Absolutely amazing post, I don't think anyone could have explained it better than you . This is definitly an inspiration, and deeply touched me . You have amazing courage for telling your story . These people who doubt child avi's are obviously wrong (in my opinion) .

    ty for the great post !

    - Cara

  17. *hugs the oh so brave Abby* Amazing! Just amazing!

  18. *hugs* this was a great post ^-^ so brave too =) and as everyone said, inspiring

  19. HugglesSHuffles Abby so tight. I'm pretty sure you and I have talked about this in the past, as our reasons or playing are almost identical. I'm really happy you posted this. You are very strong, and always remember you are not alone. We are all here. What happened in your childhood isn't your fault, it's the people who caused it. What happens to us, as bad as it can be, teaches us who we want to be and who we will never be. You are a great strong person! Love you abberloo!

  20. I want to thank you all for all your kind words and support. I did not post this blog because I was ashamed of who I was, or think what happened was my fault. I just wanted to share why I choose to be who I am in second life.
    Not every child avatar was abused as a child, we all have our stories. This was just mine.
    Your words of understanding and encouragement have shown me my final decision of going ahead and blogging this post was the right choice.
    I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. <3

  21. Abby, I say it wasn't your fault at all. You are loving, kind, sweet and brave person. I love you so much. *hugs you tight* Thank you for sharing this.

  22. My Sweet Sissy -
    I have known you for what seems forever now - We have shared secrets- fears -love Laughter and tears - we have walked our own seperate roads for a short time - To read this post today - I see my sissy who has grown and spread her wings to be a brave butterfly - I am so proud of you - I am proud to call you sissy --
    Proud in everything you do and accomplish !
    I love you sissy forever

  23. wow abbers that took alot to tell that publicly i love you so much !! hugs you so big and really those people are just ignorant askholes and Baron said it very well what anyone chooses to do with any avi good or bad .. but really geez people can be so ignorant and angry and you are amazing! I love you!

  24. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your reasons (though you shouldn't have to explain to anyone) I've met some wonderful people behind a myriad of avatars. One of the sweetest people I ever knew was a barbarian warrior of Gor. One of the strongest women in my online life was a submissive. In a place where we can be ANYTHING we choose to be, I can't understand hard line stereotypes and prejudice. It just doesn't make sense. We're all here to escape in some way, to fantasize a new life and who is anyone to judge how you or I do that. Ignorance sadly is as much a part of life as individuality. Someday maybe the latter will outnumber the former. GL with your SL Life and thank you again for being open. I hope it changed a few minds.

  25. On your behalf, so so sorry. This is so brave. Respect!